UC Irvine

An anecdote. A man has a fish, the fish begins to speak to him. “If you release me I will grant your heart’s wish.” “I’m game,” the man responds. “I would like—” “Ah, no. You don’t get to tell me. You must understand that even you don’t know.” The fish contracts slightly in the man’s hands. “Hurry up. Nothing worse than slowly suffocating on air.” “Okay then.” The man releases the fish back into the nearby body of water. Then he waits. He leaves the shore, gets into his car, starts the engine. Key in the ignition, he receives a phone call. His wife has died of a spontaneous aneurysm at work. Dropped dead on the spot. With this news the man sits still for some time. He’s thinking, but not of what to do, he wonders if his heart’s wish was responsible. Car still running he throws open the driver side door, fumbling with the lock, panic. He rushes to the shoreline, screams into the water, “Fish, what is this?! Was this my fault! She’s dead! My wife! Come back and tell me what I’ve done. Please.” His voice is soft now, pleading. The fish pops his head from the water. “Fuck you.”