Bisexual parents tend to be categorized as either straight, lesbian, or gay depending on the gender of their relationships, supporting the assumption that bisexuality has no impact on parenting. The present study examines bisexual parents separately from their non-bisexual peers to understand how bisexuals might parent differently. In particular, this project investigates how bisexual parents navigate conversations about sexuality with their children, given that a parent’s bisexuality is rarely obvious. This project employs a mixed-method approach, using both survey and interview data. The sample contains 6,638 survey respondents and 103 interviewees. The majority of interviewees identify as bisexual parents (n=71), although gay (n=8), lesbian (n=13), and straight (n=9) parents, as well as two adult children of parents, are included for comparison. Closed survey questions were coded primarily for descriptive statistics. Open-ended survey questions and interview transcripts were coded using grounded theory to identify emergent themes as they unfolded. The majority of bisexual parents in the sample desired conversations about bisexuality with their children, though they often reported feeling lost about how best to have these conversations given the lack of representation of bisexuality in media and parenting resources. Typically, parents used a child-centered approach, prioritizing concerns for their children’s development and decentering themselves in conversations about bisexuality. When asked how their parenting compared to the parenting of non-bisexuals, bisexuals insisted that they were more open-minded and better prepared for conversations about sexuality and gender with their children. Bisexual parents explained that their experiences being marginalized by both straight and lesbian/gay communities enabled them to better empathize with their children no matter how their children identified in terms of sexuality or gender. When comparing bisexual parents’ opinions toward various topics to the opinions of lesbian, gay, and straight parents, bisexual parents were particularly more open-minded toward their children’s bisexual and transgender identities. This phenomenon is referred to as the “Bisexual Parent Advantage.” When analyzing parents’ responses by gender, this study reveals that men were less likely to talk openly to their children about bisexuality compared to women. Bisexual men tended to focus solely on the physicality of their attraction, which often led them to feel less comfortable talking to their children about their bisexuality. In contrast, bisexual women described their bisexuality as a romantic rather than sexual identity, leading them to talk to children of all ages about their bisexuality. Differences in gender are linked to hegemonic masculinity and emphasized femininity, suggesting that bisexual men may be more invested in describing their bisexuality in non-romantic terms in order to maintain masculine expectations of fatherhood, and bisexual women may describe their bisexuality as a romantic identity in order to distance themselves from non-feminine stereotypes of hypersexuality.
This research has three major academic implications: (1) I demonstrate that bisexuals experience systemic erasure and stigma which separates them from gays or straights and incentivizes studying their unique experiences further; (2) I complicate the popular narrative in LGBTQ+ parenting research that the gender of parents “matters,” in favor of a more complex analysis aligned with feminist standpoint theory which considers not just gender, but also the impact of experiences with oppression or marginalization on parenting practices; and (3) By highlighting the diversity of opinions and experiences within a large group of bisexual parents, I showcase a need for conducting more intersectional research in the sociologies of sexuality, gender, and family. This research also provides justification for federal protections of LGBTQ+ adoption and foster care.