ABSTRACT OF THE THESIS

To Achieve the Incredible

by

Gerard Joseph

Master of Fine Arts in Theatre and Dance (Acting)

University of California, San Diego, 2014

Professor Kyle Donnelly, Chair

I came to this school with a different understanding of `acting' then the one I leave with. I began with an ideal; a flawed ideal on how to achieve an incredible goal. I still believe the goal to be worthy, but was stuck in an unsuccessful methodology. It was a concept that led me to squeezing every drop out of a limited reservoir in attempting to capture a fleeting understanding.

What I have accomplished here can be described as the digging of a deeper well. Through time spent in voice, singing, movement, acting technique, and self-exploration I now have an instrument much more capable of expression - a much larger body of water to draw from.

Perhaps as important, I have acquired an ease of delivery. I now see the process of realizing this vision will not be through the squeezing and forcing of every sinew to serve your turn, but rather through releasing into what I can best describe as an open state of readiness and connection. I believe this understanding will relieve me of the oft-stifling pressure of achievement and bring me closer to, and more capable of sustaining my original ideal.

I have trained with specialists in many genre's and leave UCSD with a keener sense of self and the rigor of artistry.

I have learned to embrace and have confidence in the artist I am and my unique ability to create.

I have gained a deep appreciation and wonder for the human connection and the synergy of talent.

All my life I've had a heart like a broken levee. It has the reputation of being sensitive and full, crackling with an undeniable depth. However, I never knew how to access my well. At a young age, I learned that silence can be deafening, darkness can be illuminating, and sadness can be invaluable. As a first generation college student, attending UCSD was a life altering experience.

Professors like Kyle Donnelly and Gregory Wallace, put me face-to-face with myself. I met me time and time again in the regality of characters like Titania, the sadness of sweet Oya, and the indomitable spirit of battered Beth. Through these women I found a voice - gone was the hesitancy of girlhood.

When I found theatre - I found a prism, a kaleidoscope of all the ideas that I needed to convey. A colorful way to explore the inequalities of the world. Needless to say, it has been frightfully rewarding. Never has there been a time where I have felt the most at ease and trusting of human coexistence.

Flourishing among many like-minded artists not only taught me how to be active but also encouraged it. A small flame burns bright within my belly so much so, it amazes me that a once shy, fearful, reserved actress - now thrives on uncertainty. I used to live life with my eyes closed, anxiously approaching the next moment with held breath and extreme doubt. Now, well now I sizzle and I long to play with fire. Thanks to my training, I am only interested in art that will set the world ablaze.

At a young age I had my voice taken from me. For as long as I could remember, playing pretend for me was not just a fun childish game but rather a vital component in my development of discovering my voice, as well as myself. From the moment I could speak I found that doing impersonations of other people, or creating characters myself helped me achieve fluency with my speech.

Growing up with such a wild imagination, I desperately needed to learn how to control all the creative impulses I had. Specificity, and precision became the goal from the moment I walked into grad school. I have had the great fortune to tell the stories of characters such as Wife, who taught me the meaning of love, and what sacrifice is. Stacey, who challenged me to take more risk than I ever had before. Goldie, who taught me that timing and precision were everything. From Katherine, to Lady M, to Juliet all of who took me on a journey to another time, by teaching me how to blend my eccentricities to their worlds.

This program has given me the tools necessary to be an artist who doesn't just run on impulse. In these three years I have been encouraged to bring my wild imagination to the table, my voice, and spontaneity with precision and specificity.

When I would play pretend as a kid, I always liked to have some sort of structure to play on. Whether it was the jungle gym at school, a fort I had built with my brother, or the local Chuck E. Cheese, I had the most fun, and my imagination was the most free when there were more tubes to slide in or trampolines to jump on. Over the past three years at U.C. San Diego I feel like I have built my actor playground. I have gained a structure that has allowed me to freely play wherever I need to go; to the back woods of Wisconsin, to the east river slums of New York, to lavish palaces in Egypt, to heaven and back. During my time at school I have picked and pieced different tools together so I can be free and confident with each new part that comes my way to play. I now feel that I have built a playground that suits me perfectly, where I can set my mind and body free to create anything imaginable.

In evaluating my experience at UCSD I find it helpful to begin by reexamining my frame of mind as represented in the personal statement included in my application. In it I referred to the quote by Epictetus that states: "It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows." I took Epictetus's advice one step further and outlined for myself what exactly it was that I didn't know. As a result, my decision to attend a graduate training program was not based on a desire to "gain technique" in the general, but, rather, guided by a vey specific set of personal goals. The goals outlined in my personal statement included:

- Growing my creative and emotional impulses

- Opening and freeing my speaking voice

- Exploring text in a thorough, educated way, while still allowing creative impulse to flourish and not be overpowered by intellectualism

- Using my athleticism and body awareness to help achieve a higher level of physical expression

- Bettering myself as an actor in multiple disciplines so as to provide myself with the widest breadth of potential career paths possible

Looking back on my time at UCSD I can honestly say that I have achieved every one of these goals. By no means do I feel that my training is done – it is certain to continue until the day I die – but I am incredibly proud of the growth I've made in the past three years. As I make the transition back to the professional world I look forward to the next steps in my creative, emotional, and intellectual journey, and all the questions, goals, and unknowns that lie ahead of me.

Danvir. Jimmy. Danny V. Danny V & the Bumblebees. Danny Valentine. Double D. Deezus. D Weezy. DJ Takeover. Or ahh forget it. From lowly beginnings as a Window cleaner in Tin Pan Alley-era New York City singing "hello hello Tokio" to an "inn-keeper" in the countryside waxing rhapsodically about his famous battles while those around him push his buttons, this man with numerous names has had the opportunity to experience multiple worlds and the challenges that each of these bring up for the actor. From using the scansion work that Jim Winker taught us to play Bassianus in "Titus Andronicus" to working closely with Ursula on my RP dialect for "She Stoops to Conquer," I have been lucky enough during my time here to take the tools that I have attained in the classroom and use them in the rehearsal process. But above all else, my time here at UCSD has helped shape me in a way that I never could have imagined coming in. Not just as an actor but as an individual and a member of an ensemble or family as I like to think of you all as. I now have a community of like-minded artists that I can call to when I am in need of a friend or more importantly financial assistance. Overall, my experience here has been positive to say the least. UCSD has given me the tools to continue living the dream of being an actor. And a successful one at that.

The idea of the actor as journeyman is as old as the profession itself. The travel troupes of yesteryear laid the groundwork for the theatres of Shakespeare and the regional theatre circuit here in America. So if there is one thing an actor must have: it's a good suitcase. Or two. One for the rags and trinkets he, or she, holds dear; and another for all the skills he, or she, brings to every project.

When I left the east coast for San Diego I brought with me those two suitcases. Luckily for me, the latter of the two doesn't have to be checked or carried-on. That second suitcase was filled with all the things a young aspiring actor should have: unearned confidence, unwarranted self-doubt, and unrelenting will to be best he can be. Thrown in also were some "soft-skills" I hard learned at the undergraduate level. I was packed and ready for a new journey.

Upon arriving here at San Diego I had to be willing to set down that suitcase, turn it over and empty it out on the sidewalk. Fore it was to be filled with new ideas and skills that wouldn't be a weight on my shoulders; but more so a Mary Poppins bag of magic. I had to work extremely had for every addition to that suitcase. But now that I stand here with a full suitcase I'm thankful for the time and energy that it took to fit each article in it.

ABSTRACT OF THE THESIS

Dorn's Buttons

by

Ronald Kirk Washington

Master of Fine Arts in Theatre and Dance (Acting)

University of Southern California, San Diego, 2014

Professor Kyle Donnelly, Chair

In Process during spring quarter of first-year, there was a small moment involving an unbuttoned shirt--a small moment involving smaller buttons. Chekhov's The Seagull: paramours Dorn and Paulina sit together at a table in Sorin's garden, engaged in Chekhovian chitchat. Prior to there was a dance, a kiss, a caress. Having noticed Dorn's unbuttoned shirt, Paulina begins to button it. Successful at the sternum, she starts for another. But instead of letting her finish this quiet act, a casual kindness extended a familiar lover, I deemed it dull and reached for what I thought the more exciting choice: Paulina. Before this touch, the scene is stopped. "That was such a beautiful moment," said the instructor, "Why not let her finish?"

* * *

Ask not "What am I doing to her?" but rather "How do I want to make her feel?" The former's a jar filled with marbles and trinkets. The latter's that same jar filled with marbles, trinkets, and precious sand.

* * *

The difference in severity of a simple head tilt can be the difference between curious and despondent. An external approach is merely an internal one unjustified.

* * *

If the thought is clear trust that the breath needed to convey it will be right-sized, the text audible and truthful. Provided I've warmed-up. Consonants and vowels are emotive.

* * *

Who knew singing's a lot like shooting a jump shot? First, a clean grab, then jump, free and long release in rhythm--don't overthink it. Got a beautiful jumper. It took me twenty years to develop it.

Gregory Wallace once said to me, "You are comfortable with the idea that you don't know something. Cut it out and go figure it out." For most of my life, my fallback answer to things I was uncomfortable with or lacking confidence in, was "I don't know", afraid that I didn't have the right answer or that I would be unable to articulate my thought process efficiently. These past three years at UCSD have given me the conviction to be proactive in figuring things out for myself.

As an artist, there is always going to be a sense uncertainty. I've learned to embrace it and look at it as what is truly beautiful about art. Learning to take a leap of faith, make a big bold choice, and fail in a great way. If we don't fall, how will we learn, right? Singer Jhene Aiko said, "I do not feel the fear of falling, I want to fly". This program has given me the courage to fly into unknown spaces, throw caution to the wind, and take pride or see beauty in my mistakes.

Although, I'm sure I knew what I was doing in other productions and scene work, playing Anna in Drums in the Night was the first time I was actually able to feel my growth and have a sense that I indeed knew what I was doing. From movement, to voice and speech, to having the guts to take a leap into the abyss of the unknown, it was like the world opened up to me and I feel confident leaping into my next.

I have always approached life like a head first dive off a waterfall. That unabashed spring into the unknown is what I believe drew me into the arts and placed me in the audition room for UCSD's Graduate Acting program.

Catching my breath from the expulsion of several aerobic monologues, Kyle Donnelly asked why grad school would be a good fit. I responded with, "I've got a nice set of skills, but I would like to craft and hone them, becoming an acting machine that can sustain a long life in theatre." At that time the picture in my mind was much like a Terminator of acting, crushing and molding the world of the play into something beautiful to experience.

Once in the program, my inner Peter Pan took flight, exploring the physical and emotional depths of a drag queen, an adolescent searching for love, a man sacrificing life and limb for family, and more. Along the way I waited for this Terminator to appear and replace the boyish, earnest glee with which I approach work and life. He never appeared. This frustrated me until, finally, I realized the image of this "machine" was all wrong. Little did I know my inner free spirit had been acquiring bits of armor, piece by piece, in the way of movement, voice, speech, text analysis and personal process in the work. My once exposed person is now shielded with technique and a stronger sense of self. The joyously unrestrained coupled with an impenetrable defense. I now am about to embark into a career where one must be simultaneously emotionally available and tough as nails. I am ready.